Mine Angels Bear You Up

As I tearfully stood at a counter, at the Salt Lake County Courthouse, watching a clerk stamp the date on my final divorce papers, I felt a strong impression to go to Temple Square when I was finished.  The sweet clerk finished the cold process of organizing my paperwork, glanced up at me and started to tell me that I had everything in order and was free to go, but she stopped mid-sentence as she saw tears streaming down my face.  She stood up from her office chair, reached across the counter and placed her hand on my arm and asked if I was okay.  I nodded and tried to tell her thank you, but no sound came out of mouth.  I managed a smile and walked out of the courthouse.  When I finally got into my van the tears fell like rain and I sat in the dark parking garage and sobbed.  Once again I felt prompted to go to Temple Square. 

 

I followed the prompting and made my way to the place where I had so often found peace and comfort.  I parked at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. As I made my way into the main lobby I passed the office where I had sat 15 years previous and picked out the flowers, linens and food for my wedding reception, which was held on the top-floor ballroom of the building.  Once a place of happy memories, and now I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

 

I made my way out the doors of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and entered the gates of Temple Square where I immediately saw a bride being fanned by her doting mother.  It was a hot summer day in Salt Lake and I was reminded of the hot summer day I was married in the Salt Lake Temple.  I was reminded of my own doting mother trying to keep me cool in my beautiful white wedding dress.  I kept walking.  It seemed like everywhere I turned another bride and groom were blissfully smiling at their photographer’s camera. 

“What am I doing here?”  I thought.  “I am just torturing myself.  I need to get out of here.”  But instead of turning around and walking back to my car, I kept walking.

Finally, I ended up sitting in a beautiful flowerbed on a raised sprinkler box facing the temple.  The temple where 15 years ago I was sealed to my best friend and the man I loved with all my heart.  “This is where it all started,” I thought.  “And now I’m back at the same spot trying to find some peace when it’s all ended.”  The marriage I had fought so hard for was now officially over and I couldn’t control the sadness and despair I felt.  I put my face in my hands and sobbed.

A man in a suit came and sat down next to me in the flowerbed.

“Do you like cookies?” he asked.

I lifted my tear-stained face out of my hands, looked at him and with a little giggle responded, “Who doesn’t?”

He laughed and handed me a cookie.  We sat there for a few moments.  He was quiet, and I was trying as hard as I could to stop crying.

Finally, he said, “You’re obviously sad, what’s going on?”

I told him.  A complete stranger, but for some reason I told him all about the nightmare I was living.  He sat and listened.  When I was finished he said, “My wife was horticulture major at BYU and flowers have always fascinated me.  You can plant annuals and they are pretty for a season, but then they die.  When you plant perennials they are pretty for the season but they don’t get strong and vibrant until they’ve gone through a winter.  What’s more, is that after they have gone through an extremely harsh winter the plant produces the prettiest, most vibrant blossoms.  It sounds like you’re going through an extremely harsh winter right now, but soon the snow will stop falling, the ground will begin to thaw and the grandest, prettiest and most vibrant flowers will begin to bloom in your life. 

Your Heavenly Fathers hears and answers your prayers.  How else do you explain why I bought an extra cookie today? Heavenly Father wanted you to have this cookie today,” he said.  

Steve gave me a hug and went back to work.  I knew my prayers had been answered.  I knew Heavenly Father had sent one of his angels to comfort me in one of my darkest moments.  My Father, your Father, knew one of his daughters was suffering and could use a cookie.  I’m so grateful I followed the prompting to go Temple Square so I could be taught the things Heavenly Father wanted me to hear that day.  I have been inspired to look for opportunities to be an angel in someone else’s life.  I have a small charm in the shape of a chair on a bracelet I wear to remind me to find empty places to sit and provide comfort for others who are suffering. 

D&C 84:88 And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angles round about you, to bear you up.