I’ve thought a lot about this exchange and how it relates to prayer. Lately, I have felt similar feelings as my son when it comes to asking for certain blessings from our Father in Heaven. I’ll admit there are a couple of specific blessings (and what I deem righteous desires) that I would like to see come to pass, NOW! It’s hard for me to understand why the answer is no. However, just like in the exchange with my inexperienced eight-year-old, I know my loving Father is protecting me, teaching me, and blessing me by not granting me my every desire.
2012 and 2013 were years I spent living in my personal
Gethsemane. During that time the Lord
taught me how to pray. He furthered my
knowledge about the Atonement and the Plan of Salvation. I learned about forgiveness, repentance, charity
and submission to His will. He is the
ultimate author and I learned to trust the One who already knows the end of the
story. So here I sit two years later
having to remind myself of the lessons I have already learned. I often think the Lord looks at this inexperienced
child of his and says, “Sweetie, we’ve gone over this several times, but let me
teach you again in a slightly different way.”
In October 2013 I was among 20,000 women seated in the
Conference Center when Linda S. Reeves addressed the women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the general Relief Society meeting. The ink was barely dry on my divorce papers
and I attended the meeting with a broken and tender heart. I was touched by her expressions of love and
admiration for women who “experience great adversity in [their] lives because
of the covenant-breaking of loved ones”.
Even though I was sitting in a congregation of 20,000, and
despite the fact the conference was streaming in homes, computers, and meeting
houses throughout the world I thought she was specifically talking to me!
“Almost three years ago a devastating fire gutted the
interior of the beloved, historic tabernacle in Provo, Utah. Its loss was
deemed a great tragedy by both the community and Church members. Many wondered,
‘Why did the Lord let this happen? Surely He could have prevented the fire or
stopped its destruction.’
“Ten months later,…there was an audible gasp when President
Thomas S. Monson announced that the nearly destroyed tabernacle was to
become a holy temple—a house of the Lord! Suddenly we could see what the Lord
had always known! He didn’t cause the fire, but He allowed the fire to strip
away the interior. He saw the tabernacle as a magnificent temple—a permanent
home for making sacred, eternal covenants.
…the Lord allows us to be tried and tested, sometimes to our
maximum capacity. We have seen the lives of loved ones—and maybe our
own—figuratively burned to the ground and have wondered why a loving and caring
Heavenly Father would allow such things to happen. But He does not leave us in
the ashes; He stands with open arms, eagerly inviting us to come to Him. He is
building our lives into magnificent temples where His Spirit can dwell
eternally.”
When I heard this talk the emotional and spiritual fire that
raged for years in my own life had just been put out and I was standing among
the smoldering ashes surveying the destruction. Since Reeves’ talk, I have had
an unusual fascination with the Provo City Center Temple. It’s nearing completion, and it will soon be
a dedicated house of the Lord. I,
myself, am nowhere near completion, but as I step back I can see the
reconstruction happening and how far I’ve come.
Heavenly Father is aware of us. He has promised He will never leave us comfortless. Our faith is bolstered when the answer is “no”. It’s in those moments, weeks, months, or even years, that we have to trust the Lord and His plan. He is aware of our needs and desires and once we align our desires with His he can turn us into the men and women he wants us to become.
*Photo credits 2. Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News 3. www.ldschurchtemples.com/provocitycenter/
